I have come to understand that much of my addiction was a quest for peace. Getting sober didn’t stop that search; it only changed the method and the means. During my 30 years of sobriety, more than half of which I have been following Jesus, I’ve still stumbled my way through life, often searching for something to solidify me, something to make me feel whole, and to be at peace with myself.
You might not be able to relate to my struggles with drug addiction, but maybe you know what it’s like to feel at odds with yourself. That gnawing in your gut. A sense of emptiness. Purposelessness. Shame. Regret. Discontentment. Restlessness. Unease.
Hope is a double-edged sword because we follow a God who does not conform to our expectations and whose plans do not always align with our hopes. As the psalmist said, our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases (Psalm 115:3).
Abraham Maslow once said that if the only tool you have is a hammer, then it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail. For much of my early ministry, that was exactly what I did.
